So I have no illusions of grandeur with this blog. In fact, I know for certain that my mom is the only one who is reading it right now (good morning, mom!)
And that's okay, because I know (a) knowing she is reading it will keep me grounded, (b) at least she will love me anyway, and (c) her comments will at least be nice.
I have spent most of the morning trying to revamp and update this blog and boy am I learning some things. Namely that I need to have someone else do it for me. For the life of me I can't get an Instagram gadget on here (mainly for my mom, 'cause I know she won't access it regularly otherwise) but for those of who might, for now it is http://instagram.com/mswvjmpr and if you know how to help be get the gadget to work, please speak up. I am afraid it is something to do between Google and Instagram for the moment.
As such, I haven't gotten much else done today other than get two boys to the bus stop on time. Ugh. Seriously, it is 10:19 and I have done nothing else but drink coffee, get two of four kids to school, and play on my computer. But I think I am going to decide to be okay with this for today. One of my favorite bloggers, Ashley Hackshaw of Lilblueboo.com posted today that "nothing is more real than nothing". So nothing is something. Sometimes the gaps are wherein lie the seeds of your next big thing. So perhaps sitting here on my bum, trying not to think of all the things that my brain thinks I should be doing (i.e. planning dinner, vacuuming this disgusting carpet) will bring forth an idea of something my heart wants to do. No i.e. here. I'm still waiting to find it. I think that is the mystery of the gap, though. Looking won't get you anywhere when there is nothing to look at. Nothingness brings its own ideas and my job is to simply receive it when it is given.
I can hope, though. And I hope it brings me something awesome. Something that I can be excited about despite the work that will be involved. It has been a long time since I have enjoyed the labor as much as the result. Don't mistake that for appreciating the labor as much as the outcome. I did NOT enjoy the experience of childbirth as much as I love my son. I appreciate it. I would do it again. But it does not equal the excitement of having him. No, I am talking about having a goal that requires work that I love to do, that I am excited to get up and start every day, that I enjoy so much that even if the attaining of the goal seems so far off, it doesn't really matter, because the process is so much fun and so rewarding. Gaah, it sounds like I want to be a perpetual college student! But truthfully, maybe that is what I want to be. I want to find something that I love so much that learning about it on a full-time basis will be ultimately fulfilling.
OooooO! I can't wait!
I have exactly 30 more minutes of gap to wait for it. I hope it comes today!
**claps hands and hops up and down**
But if it doesn't, I will just try harder to look for more gaps in the days to come and be sure to mind them!
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